Call it what you'd like.

"How do you feel today Jen?" She asked. Her voice was airy, it carried a sense of comfort in something, or nothing, or everything. I wasn't sure. But then again, I hardly cared. I sighed and I looked ahead. "I feel the same." I replied. I still looked ahead. Her office was nice, I guess, if you cared about that sort of thing. "That's not enough Jen, and you know it." I smiled to myself, or to her, I wasn't sure. "So what do you want to hear?" I asked. I saw her tug on the hem of her skirt as she straightened her back. "I want you to tell me how you feel, Jen." I smiled again, but this time I wasn't smiling at anyone. "Why are you smiling dear? Is there something funny?" She asked, with a slight edge to her voice. "Nothing at all mam. Nothing at all." I shook my head to get her voice out of my mind. "Jeniffer," She sighed. "It's Jen. Mam." I interrupted. "Jen," She repeated as she smoothed her hands over her skirt. "Why don't we talk about something else?" I nodded and stared at my beat up converse. "How's Lyla?" She asked slowly, as if she were afraid to offend me.

Lyla. She rang in my head, her blonde hair was so soft and pale, it was like a halo. She was a devil, with a halo. How sick was that? How damn sick was that.

"She's gone." I replied as I shook my head. Get out of my mind. Get out. "Where did she go?" She asked trying to meet my eyes. I stared at my beat up converse again. "I don't know, mam, but it doesn't really matter does it?" She shook her head and sighed. "Tell me about her, tell me about Lyla."

What wasn't there to say about Lyla? She was a beautiful disaster. She was everything I wanted to be. She was sharp tongued, and she didn't care. She had me wrapped around her little pinky, and she knew it. She knew that without Lyla, there would be no Jen, if there was even a Jen to begin with. Lyla was 3 things. She was beautiful, fun and trouble. And it either made you love her, or fear her. And in my case, both.

"She's, everything." I sighed. This made her sigh too. She looked at me, then looked away, out her window. "She's everywhere and anywhere." I continued. She put her pen and paper down and leaned back into her huge leather office chair. I held my breath, and waited for her reply.''

"From what I've heard, dear," She said slowly, as if I wouldn't understand. "is that she's mostly up here." She said as she pointed to her head. I held my breath for 20 more seconds. "Honey, don't be angry." She whispered. I wasn't angry. "Please say something." I wasn't gonna say anything, not till I felt like it. She sighed and took my hand in hers. "She's not real, Jen, don't you see?" I smiled and I looked at her. "But mam, that's what makes it so hard." She nods, and I ask if that's all for today. She nods and I gather my stuff. And as I pushed past the huge oak doors, I knew she was there.

"So where exactly did I go?" She said as she got up from her chair.
"I don't know, away, whatever." I said as pressed the elevator button.
"Honey if you don't want me around just say it." She said as she reached out to smooth my hair.
"Alright, I don't want you around." I replied, staring straight ahead.
"Jen, baby, do you mean it?" She smiled and twirled her hair around her finger. I closed my eyes and sighed. "Come on honey, yes or no?" She sang into my ear. I punched the elevator button and shook my head. "Well that's what I thought." She said as the lift door opened up for us. I didn't reply, I didn't say anything as the lift brought us down. "Jen," she whispered. I looked at her, into her deep piercing violet eyes. And my heart sank. "What?" I replied. "Who am I?" She asked. I sighed and shook my head, shook it so I wouldn't have to hear her. "Who am I, Jen?" We'd been through this before. "You're Lyla." I sighed. "And?" She sang. I opened my mouth but I couldn't say it, so she did for me. She leaned in close and grabbed my chin.

"And you need me. Got it?"